Narcissistic Abuse
Narcissism is the word of our time-and it’s about time that this covert type of abuse is being exposed.
Narcissistic abuse is psychological abuse. Through the use of manipulation tactics, such as gaslighting, abusers maintain a) power and control over you and b)a well crafted image of themselves carefully designed over many years.
The mask they wear, along with their enablers make you doubt yourself and the abuse you are going through. Your mind tries to make sense of the conflicting realities you face: the beautiful words they tell you vs. their behavior that hurts you. You remain STUCK, trying to understand what is happening, not knowing whether you should stay or leave. The narcissist thrives when you are in this state of confusion.
As Canadian psychologist Jordan Peterson explains “Confusion is the narcissists battlefield but clarity is your weapon”
Many people get stuck in narcissistic relationships because they don’t realize what they are dealing with. The narcissist plays by their own rules, lives in their own reality, lacks empathy and prioritizes the sustainability of their fragile ego over their relationships. Being emotionally invested in someone like this, will eventually drain you. The greatest damage comes from losing your sense of peace, safety, reality and sense of self. You become an empty shell of who you used to be.
Finding the strength to rebuild yourself is not easy, but it is possible. The most hopeful description about narcissistic abuse I have heard comes from David Kessler, American author and grief expert : “Grief is the death of something. In a narcissistic relationship, it is the death of one’s self but it is the only death we can bring someone back from. ”
It takes a lot of strength to rebuild yourself again, particularly when navigating through the painful realizations about your relationship. The narcissist made you question your reality for so long that it is essential you seek help from a professional who is trained on narcissistic abuse and validates your experience. Connecting with other survivors who truly understand your experience can also be very beneficial.
No one is ever the same person after surviving narcissistic abuse. However, you can rebuild yourself into someone stronger, wiser, who honors their boundaries and intuition, and who makes more room in their life for joy, authenticity and gratitude.
NARC Busters 